Since this is the "month of love", ya'll know I got to pay tribute to Valentines Day and all of it's victims of Cupids arrow. Using the word "victims" makes it sound like I'm saying love is a bad thing. But is it?
How many of ya'll can honestly say that you've been touched by true love? (DISCLAIMER: Do not read that part out loud if your loved one is right next to you. University Hustle is not held liable for any beat downs caused by reading this magazine. Next time read the fine print.)
Cause lets face it. As good as love is, we've all done some real dumb shit in the name of love; Pardon my French. (Sorry, French people.) Like traveling all the way to the boondocks to see that person without a clue of where you're going (shout out to RIVERHEAD!), OR blowing all your hard earned cash on that special someone for their birthday and they end up breaking up with you the day after. Or start some Facebook wall beef cause you didn't like a comment that someone posted on your boo's wall. A wise man once told me two things which I'll never forget. One: never swallow water in the kiddy pool. And two: you know you're truly in love if you can give 151 reasons.
Ok, I'm not going to front. I read it in a fortune cookie once. But nevertheless, there is some truth to it. So this University Hustle writer is going to be the first to put his head on the chopping block and tell ya'll about my true love...in poem form (yea, I'm cultured). *Ahem (clearing throat)...and I read:
Whenever you go down, you light my soul on fire
Our personal time together is called Happy Hour, and some of that is what I desire.
You constantly stay wet, without my touch
Remember the first time we met at the bar? Damn, you didn’t say much
You’re so small and petite; I could fit you in one hand
I don’t know if you white or black, but whatever you are I love that golden brown tan.
To finish this poem, I need a word that rhymes with month
‘Cuz my true love isn't a person, it's "151 reasons" the new drink of the month
If you would like to make your own "151 Reasons", here's how you do it:
3/4 oz 151 proof rum
2 oz orange juice
2 oz 7-Up® soda
3/4 oz lemonade
This drink is like a retarded midget, small and strong (no offense to all the strong midgets out there). So make sure before you drink this drink, you:
(A): know what you're doing and
(2): sign the death waiver or else you'll have 151 problems, and a drink ain’t one!!
These are the words of a certified alcoholic...
Carl Samuels
